BMW Test Day

I recently enjoyed a BMW Test Day.

Here is my alternative, totally subjective and unrepresentative Road Test report by way of a contrast to Motor Cycle News “ On the track, at 18000 revs, this bike still has 500 rpm to go over the rest so the winner of our group test is…..” nonsense.

GS650. This is like a BMX bike with a light switch power delivery engine in it. It really does twiddle about like a bike but this is unnerving when stepping off a heavy bike. Everything happens all of a sudden, go, steer , stop – bam, bam, bam. Not at all the commuter trudger I expected. This too had the horrible fuelling glitch just as you feed in the clutch to pull away that I had previously experienced when riding an 800ST and kindly cut out on me in front of the Beemer masses just as I fed the power in.Oddly enough the very same 800ST was there and smirking in the background – the joke’s on you mate, you are now only fit to be used as a test hack.

K1300GTSE Wow ! What a bike. An absolutely stonking engine. Wanna rev it ? OK goes like stink. Wanna short shift ? – does the same. Creamy smooth power and slick shifts everywhere. Only downside is tingly vibration in 2nd gear at 30mph through the footrests and tank. A huge improvement is modern indicator switchgear. Thank God for that. I looked at the bike before I went out just to see if this one had it, great, otherwise I would not have ridden it. I do not need 160 bhp cutting in just when I don’t want it. I have yet to meet any German with 6” long thumbs – but they must have existed to have designed the now thankfully obsolete old switchgear.A big heavy lump to move about to park. It steers and corners great but gives the sensation on cornering that something big and heavy is being swung about in circles, well bits of circles, so plan ahead accordingly. The brakes wipe out speed instantly so no worries there.Predictably the only toy I played with was the heated grips – the ride itself didn’t seem to need anything else. OK then I forgot.A great bike in my view – I really liked it.

GS1200 Stop the world I want to get off. Go around the world on this ? You must be kidding. Turn the key and press start the thing leaps to the right, everything judders about and the engine sounds rough and clanky.Away we go and it sounds like a cross between a WW1 biplane and a tractor, engine delivery linear but not smooth through the bars or footrests plus muffled pops and bangs in the exhaust on successive downshifts, gearbox clonky both ways.It handles, steers and stops OK but as a concept I just don’t get it. Handy for looking over hedges I suppose but dunno what else.Monster height makes give way junctions and parking a nightmare for 29” inner leg. OK, I know buy this lowering kit and that lowered seat – but then what is the point in the first place. I gave up and handed the bike back to sort out when I got back as I just couldn’t be arsed to try to haul the thing about.